What’s Your Big Fear? The one that has a hold on you.


Date: January 3, 2015

posted by kira jean / Comments: No Comments / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What’s your BIG fear? I mean really. What is it that scares the life out of you? It stops you in your tracks, you freeze up, close up, or run for cover.

What is it?

What is that fear?

The one that has a hold on you.


You probably don’t even know what it is. You have a lot of small fears, and those you could reel off to me without a problem. Those fears you can face. Because it’s easier. It’s easier to face those fears than face your really BIG fear.

You cover up your big fear in a bunch of small fears, to validate having a fear, but to avoid looking at the real fear too closely.

What is it about it that shakes you to your core?

What is it about that fear that makes you feel small, powerless, helpless?

What is your BIG fear?

What is it deep down that has a hold on you?

It makes you sick from the inside to even acknowledge it’s there.

You pipe up with all that resistance and defiance, and you probably want to scream at me right now, or simply dismiss me as someone who’s trying to stir up sh*t, stir up all that unnecessary stuff.

You know there’s no point in waking up the sleeping monster. What good will it do?


You say:

Yes ok, I get it. I’ll be able to face that fear and all that, but then what?

I realise the fear wasn’t that great after all?

Then feel embarrassed that I gave it so much power, for soooo long, and for what?

To be controlled by a fear, that in the end, as soon as I faced it, vanished.


That’s your fear baby.

The fear that if you really look at your fear it will mean nothing. It will hold no power.


That’s why it doesn’t want you to look too closely, because when you do you’ll see how small it is.

Then you’ll feel stupid that you have let it control you for so long, and the ego doesn’t like that.

Your ego wants to hold onto it tight, because hey, it gives it meaning, it justifies you having it in the first place.

It gives you your story, it makes you YOU.

Well so you think.


You’re not afraid of the fear, you’re afraid of losing it.

You’re afraid of seeing it for what it really is.

You’re afraid of what it’ll mean if you do look that thing straight into it’s core, and you’re afraid if you do it’ll be gone.

And it’d all have meant nothing.

Your struggle, your fight, your story.



And then what?


I mean seriously and then what?

What’ll be left?

Who will be left?

What will be broken?

What will be lost?


Ohhh, but what would be found?

What would be new?

What would be there now?


Your BIG fear. It’s not so big.

And that’s the scariest thing of all.

Because without that fear, what do you know now?


You gave too much of your power to it?

You lived your life through it?


And that’s what we fear.

Taking responsibility for allowing ourselves to be controlled by something else other than our hearts.

We fear looking at our fear because we feel ashamed, frustrated, and angry at ourselves that we couldn’t Just. Let. It. Go.

We held onto it, for whatever reason.

Those good-intentioned people told you your fear doesn’t serve you, but it DOES.

It IS.

Right now.


Well, my friend, only you can answer that.


How is your fear serving you?

What does it allow you to hide from?

What does it validate for you?


I know, this is edgy stuff.

And if I were there right now I’d be taking your hands, holding them tight, and saying “it’s ok, we all do it. We all need to. It’s ok. It’s not a bad thing. You’ve done nothing wrong”.

And you will look to me and say “I’m scared. I’ve made this important for so long. I don’t know who I am without it”.

And I’ll say “you’re beautiful, with or without it. And it doesn’t really matter if you let it go or not, it just matters that you know you can”.


With love, Kira x x


P.S.  Want relief from your BIG fears? Got something you want to clear up and clear out as you move into the new year?   Click here to shoot me an email and sign up for a FREE 1:1 coaching call.  I’m only offering a handful of these calls this month, and only to those of you who are serious about doing the “inside stuff”, the stuff most people want to look away from.

I aim to give away as much free stuff as possible so everyone can access the kind of work I do, however these calls are much more than that.  These calls are aimed at those who really need it.

If you’ve been feeling stuck for awhile, feel like no-one gets you, not sure where you’re heading, and are in struggle-town trying to keep all the balls you’re juggling in the air – I can help.

In order to make sure you’re ready for this kind of thing I’ll need to ask you a few questions, and then we can get you all signed up and ready to go!

If you want to make one of these spaces yours click here now to let me know.  I’d love to help you.  x x

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